Middle of Fall
by Nautica7mk
Summary: The love of two people can last forever, but can a love that never dies endure a fate far worst than death. M/L story that takes place 3 months after she escapes Manticore.
1. Chapter 1

Title: ****

Title: Middle of Fall

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Disclaimer: The story arc of this Fan Fiction belongs to me. All other spoilers and characters belong to James Cameron and his crew. I swear, I'm not rich so don't bother to sue me cuz there's nothing that I have that you'll possibly want. Maybe my brain but that's not up for bargain. LOL! One more thing, the summary came from I think "Passion of an Angel," an Angel (Mr. Whedon's other show) website. I think??? Anyone, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

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Summary: The love of two people can last forever, but can a love that never dies endure a fate far worst than death. M/L story that takes place 3 months after she escapes Manticore.

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Spoilers: Season 1 and bits and pieces of Season 2

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Side Notes: This is my first attempt to use a more narrative form. If your aware of my work, I usually do this in script format, but I figured I should really attempt this. So here it is. I hope it does some good justice. I'd like some feedback on this, so if you have time, please review. 

Also, as always, I try to remain as true to the characters as possible, so if there is something that doesn't feel right, don't be shy to let me know. I'm open to ideas and changing or fixing things.

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Chapter 1

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Max's Crib

It's been three months since I've spoken, or even seen Logan. The mere fact that I couldn't even touch him kept me from going into any type of contact with him. It was just too painful. Painful because Manticore has once again managed to keep me from the one thing, the one person I want most. 

The monsters from _Manticore_ had injected a virus into me. Isn't that just plain dandy. I was unaware that I passed it to Logan, which makes me fear for his life even more. It wasn't until Alec interrupted us that I realized what White has done. Logan will die within 24 hours if I touch him. The very thought scared me to death. There's not much in this world that scares me, but loosing Logan does. Very much and if staying away from him will keep him alive and safe then so be it.

"He boo." Original Cindy coming home from wherever the heck she was. She asked, "where'd you been? Hot boy again." I had to admit I've been seeing this guy Rafer for the past couple of months just to get my mind off Logan. Little does Logan know, this is the same guy I slept with on our anniversary, a night I continuously regret. Somehow, being with him was the only thing that kept my mind off of Logan, a little anyway.

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Logan's Place

Typing away in his computer, Logan stares into the blank screen, his image completely different to when we were first introduced to him. He sits in his chair with a tight black tee shirt that shaped his upper body physique. His hair 2 inches longer, displaying a certain rebellious type hairstyle and wears old-style black thick-framed glasses that covered his eyes. This Logan was different. His attitude is different, but he still remains a loyal friend to Bling and Asha, as well as Sebastian. A short while passed by as a familiar friend enters the room.

"Hey gorgeous," Asha calls out grabbing a chair and seating next to Logan. She's always had a thing for him. She finally had the courage to let him know a couple of months earlier. She knew she should've waited till he got over Max, but she couldn't wait. She needed to know. Whether she had told him now or later, she quickly realized Logan would always love Max. That much she knew, and she knew very well, she couldn't compete with that. "Are you ever gonna go on a break?" 

"No not really," he replies. No matter the changes that occurred this past few months, Asha will always be dear to me. She told me she loved me. I always knew she did, but not like that. I didn't want to hurt her but she knew I'd always be up front and honest, and I wasn't about to start being dishonest now. I told her how I felt, and she respected that. I knew for the first couple or so weeks was a little awkward for the both of us, but then, slowly, everything came to normal with us. Even more normal than usual. 

"Up for some take-out?"

Asha reacts totally taken aback. "Since when do you order take-out?" For as long as she's known Logan, he was always useful. Whether it was trying to help someone from somebody bad, car trouble, or if he needed to do a favor for someone, Logan was the type to do things independently. So hearing him consider take-out was I guess, a little surprising.

Logan laughs at her remark. "I figured I'd try something different," he explains. "Is that so hard to relish?"

"Honestly, yeah." Seeing Logan smile every once in a while pleased Asha. She sees all the time that Logan is hurting, but for what seems like forever, he's always managed to hide it from the world. "I don't know how he does it," she thinks to herself. If there was anything else Logan is good at, keeping his pain and concerns to himself is definitely one of them. Always putting everybody and everything else a head of himself. Why he does that I don't think I'll ever truly understand. 

"There's this new restaurant that opened a couple blocks from here, I thought we'd take a break from helping the world and have dinner there." Logan's request didn't surprise Asha. She knows where their relationship stands, and she'd rather have Logan as a friend rather to not have him at all.

"Shoot," she says, "as long as you're paying." Asha stands up and heads to the guestroom to change in a more proper attire. Logan too, wheels himself to his room to change. I don't use the exoskeleton as much as before. I guess the reason I was so self-conscious about being paralyzed was because of the fact that I thought I wasn't good enough for Max. Now I know that isn't the case. I except now that I am confined in a chair. Possibly forever, but I won't lose hope that someday that'll change. I stopped feeling sorry for myself since Max came back. What drove me to partially let her go wasn't just that we couldn't have any type of physical contact, it was more so that she wanted to erase me from her life completely, and I don't blame her. I've tried to myself, especially when I see her with Rafer. Original Cindy told me of his connections with Max, in the beginning I was angry, very angry with myself, at the world, my whole life for that matter. That feeling will always be there, but I don't hate the guy. I just don't like the situation we're in.

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Restaurant

Logan and Asha are at the restaurant sitting opposite of each other. They order their meals and have a conversation. "How you holding up?" Asha asked. "I'm still alive aren't I? So that's a good thing," he replies. Asha, somewhat annoyed, "I mean about Max?" That hit a nerve, and Asha knew how he'd react. "What about Max?" His voice cracking. The sudden mention of her name brings back a lot of memories. "Asha," Logan begins, "I don't regret getting shot in the back and being paralyzed," he continues, "I don't regret Max breaking into my apartment," he goes on, "I don't regret knowing who Max is and the trouble that tailed her," finally, "and I won't apologize for loving her either." 

"Just making sure." Asha pleased by Logan's openness. Something he doesn't do often enough.

Logan couldn't help but smile at his friend's sly attempt to get him to open up. "Thank you," he says. Asha didn't say anything. She didn't have to because Logan already knew.

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Later that Night at Crash

"Max!"

"Rafer, hey"

"I have the night off, I thought we could hang tonight." Max was and still is wary with Rafer. She liked him, but that was as far as it went. It's nothing like what she had with Logan. The thought of him lingers in her thoughts all the time. She misses him; she misses him a lot.

Rafer then heads over to the bar to get themselves a couple of drinks.

"Boo," Original Cindy spots em. "Original Cindy don't understand why you put yourself through this, you know you don't love hot boy over there." Max knew she's right. "Look Original Cindy, I don't need this right now, I'm just trying to have a drink with a friend, so do you mind backing off for the night." She wasn't in the mood to verbally battle with her homegurl about the facts of her life. "Aiight," Original Cindy replies, "don't say I didn't warn you." She ups and leaves to join Sketchy.

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The Following Day

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Logan's Place

I no longer live at the penthouse. Since the event's 3 months ago, I decided best to relocate. Bling and Asha are the only two who knows where I now reside. Even Max doesn't know. Max isn't even aware I moved because she hasn't stopped by the Penthouse since we, or more so, she decided not to see each other again. Quip pro quo "I don't call you, you don't call me," her words echoing in my head over and over again. It hurts yeah, but I can deal. 

I live in what looks like a twenty-five-story building but isn't. The exterior displays 20 windows from top to bottom, but the interior shows a whole different atmosphere. The ground floor had a ceiling that extended about 3-½ long window spacing, with a gate that opened as a garage, and a very big one for that matter. Inside displays several motor vehicles. A couple of motorcycles, a roadster, a pretty good-looking Mercedes convertible, and dozens of tools that inhabited the ground floor. The building actually belongs to me. I haven't step foot in it for so long, the place was just full of memories I've forgotten. 

The furniture covered in white blankets, the place dormant for so many years, but not anymore. Not surprisingly, I live on the top floor. I don't know what it is about living on the top floor, but I feel a lot more at ease up there.

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Author's Note: What do you think? Is it all right? God, I hope so. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Title**: Middle of Fall

**Disclaimer**: The story arc of this Fan Fiction belongs to me. All other spoilers and characters belong to James Cameron and his crew. I swear, I'm not rich so don't bother to sue me cuz there's nothing that I have that you'll possibly want. Maybe my brain but that's not up for bargain. LOL! One more thing, the summary came from I think "Passion of an Angel," an Angel (Mr. Whedon's other show) website. I think??? Anyone, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. 

**Summary**: The love of two people can last forever, but can a love that never dies endure a fate far worst than death. M/L story that takes place 3 months after she escapes Manticore.

**Spoilers**: Season 1 and bits and pieces of Season 2. For those who haven't read any spoilers for Season 2, this fic is filled with em. So if you want to stay spoiler free, I recommend not reading, but it's totally your choice. Just giving you the heads up. _Thanks Veggie_ 5_ for remiding me to be more thorough regarding spoilers.

**Side Note**: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'm glad you find it interesting. I keep Asha and Rafer in the story because their role is pivotal for Max and Logan to get back together. Not just in this story, but in Dark Angel Series itself. I'm not saying it's gonna happen right away, but I want to explore their feelings and thoughts and the different sides they haven't shown eachother. You'll see what I mean when you read this chapter.

_Chapter 2_

_Max's Crib_

"I need a favor tonight," Max's request peaked Original Cindy's interest. "Need help dumping hot boy?" was the first question out of her mouth. "No, of course not," Max replies. Original Cindy was at a disappointment, and she totally made it clear to Max but she brushes it off and asked, "I need you to double date with me," she goes on, "Rafer invited me to this Jazz Club or somethin down some street," trying to recall the previous nights' events, "my head was completely spaced last night and I ended up agreeing," regretting once again her decision to go out with Rafer. She knew she was just using him but he doesn't seem to mind and she didn't seem to care, although Original Cindy is having a field day sticking it in her face every chance she gets. "And who do you think Original Cindy will be goin with boo?" 

"Alec"

"Say what?" Original Cindy catches a fit, "Original Cindy ain't hearin that"

"Come on boo! Look, I promise he won't do anything bad. If he does I'll gladly kick his ass," trying desperately to reassure her best friend. After a long silence, Original Cindy gives in, "fine, but that boy better keep his hands and all other body parts to himself aiight?" 

"Aiight," replies Max.

_Jazz Club_

Max, Rafer, Original Cindy, and Alec all arrive in front of the club right on time. "What am I doing here?" Max's thoughts goes into oblivion. 

"I don't see why this place is so special, is there nude women in there," Alec did not even realize what he just said. "Boy is that all you think about?" feeling offended, "Original Cindy gonna give you a smackdown." She raises her hand but Max snaps out of her thoughts and places herself in between Alec and her homegurl. "Whoa there sistah! Chill aiight!" Max attempts to cool her boo down. "If anyone is gonna give this boy a smack in the face it's gonna be me." Original Cindy feels a lot better than she did a few seconds ago. "Aiight!" replies Original Cindy. Rafer is amazed, "besides you, that girl of yours got skills."

"You have no idea," Max says. The four of them enters the club.

"Wow." The first word that comes out of her mouth as she entered the dimly lit club. She's never been inside a Jazz Club before, so she didn't exactly know what to expect. The place was surrounded by blue and green lights. Sofas and couches replaced the usual chairs she sees. As the four go in deeper, they hear the sound of a man playing the piano on a stage located in the back of the room. He sounded familiar, but Max couldn't point her finger at it. As the four sit at their table, the music continued. _The song 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You' is played by the musician/singer_. Max couldn't help but stare at the guy playing the music. Rafer stands up and excuses himself to use the restroom. 

"Who is that guy?" Max tells Original Cindy. "I'm gettin this vibe that I know him or somethin."

"Maybe your hungry," Alec suggests.

"Boy, just sit there and look pretty," Original Cindy concludes "and don't say anything either."

"Jeez, someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"How would you know," Original Cindy questions him, "you've been spying on Original Cindy?"

"No! God no!"

Max ignores the two's petty bickering. Since they've met, they've acted like sibling rivals trying to get daddy's attention or something. It was amusing at first, but then it got tiresome. The two just seems to continue goin at it.

Rafer returns as the musician finishes his last song. The audience claps and as he faces the crowd; Original Cindy's mouth drops, Alec continues to eyeball the ladies, Rafer stares in amazement, and Max seems to be lost for words. "Logan!" was the only word she managed to spit out. Rafer sees her surprise.

"Logan, buddy. Great set man," an audience member shouts out. Logan lifts his head and nods back as he cases his acoustic guitar. Henry, the bartender, comes over to hand him a drink. "Ever since you started playin here, my customers doubled. Don't know how you do it man," compliments Logan.

"Nothing much really," Logan says. "It's soothing for the soul," letting out a sly smile. Asha walks toward Logan from the bar, "all he has to do is show up and women just flock to him. Men too," Asha teasing Logan. "Get lost," Logan says playfully. It's been nice to see Logan act more like himself. When I first arrived in Seattle, Logan was a lot more guarded, but it's not unusual but he was different in a different sort of way. Does that make sense? The Logan I see in front of me reminded me of the friend I've always known and even though so much has changed these past few years, I'm glad Logan is feeling more comfortable being himself and not carry the doo-gooder side of him everywhere and all the time.

Unaware that Max and her friends are in the crowd. "Coming back next week?" Henry asks, "of course," Logan replies. "All right, drinks on me man." Logan's been playing at this club for the past month and a half. Singing and playing classical tunes from the 80's and 90's. Every once in a rare while, he'll manage to cough up one or two of his own work.

"I didn't know Logan played or sang?" Original Cindy asks Max. "Like I did," Max didn't know what to say. Even she didn't know Logan had a passion for music. "Seems like there's a lot of stuff you don't know about your ex," adds Rafer. "You guys want to leave," he suggest. "Wait a sec, it's over between me and Logan, it has been for a while now," she looks at Rafer, who in return looks back, "just because we coincidentally arrive at the same club together doesn't mean I have to run away everytime I see him." Max gets up and heads to the ladies room, Original Cindy couldn't help but follow. "You boys stay out of trouble aiight," Rafer nods while Alec continues to admire the ladies.

_Ladies Room_

"Boo," Original Cindy enters the ladies room, "what's up with you?" 

"God," Max trying to collect her thoughts, "why is it all of the sudden I'm finding things about Logan I had no clue about when we were together?"

"Considering neither one of you admitted you were actually together," Original Cindy clarifies, "I thought we weren't gonna talk about Logan?"

"Believe me, I don't want to either," Max says, "but I can't help it." She sits herself up by the side of the counter sink. "When I saw him up there, I didn't see Logan," she says "I saw a completely different person."

"I agree boo," Original Cindy tries to help her friend. "Asha's out there too, how close are they?" Max says. "I don't know, but by the looks of it, they're pretty good friends," Original Cindy says reassuringly.

"Whatever," Max didn't want to think about it. Of all the clubs to go to, we happen to stumble upon the same one Logan is at. My luck just plain sucks. The world doesn't seem to want to cut me some slack.

_At the Bar Section_

As Logan looks around he notices not a lot of people buying drinks. With today's society, as screwed up as it is, it's a bad sign. Asha joins him. "Mind if I join?" he gestures that it's okay. "Bar looks kind of empty," observes Asha. "Yeah, I'm thinking on climbing on the chair and do a little Tom Cruise impersonation," Asha looks at him suspiciously. "Don't you dare Logan Cale," she pleads. Logan puts down his beer glass and stands up on the bar counter. 

"Everyone, I have something to say," the entire room turns and looks straight at the male standing on the counter. As Max and Original Cindy exit the ladies room, they witness Logan's sudden annoncement. "What in the world..." before Original Cindy gets to finish, Logan starts talking. "As a newly employed bartender of the night, I have a poem to recite," the crowd starts cheering one by one. Asha trying desperately to get Logan off the counter, "you had way too much to drink," Asha shouts, "actually, I haven't." Then he begins. 

"I am the last barman poet," the crowd claps. "I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make," breaks out a laugh, "Americans getting stinky on something I stir and shake," using mannerisms. "The sex on the beach," a female screams out, "the shnapps made from peach/ The velvet hammer, the Alabama slammer..."

"Whoo!" Asha joins in on the fun

"I make things with juice and froth/ The pink squirrel/ The 3-toed sloth." At this point even Original Cindy was getting turned on. "I make drinks so sweaty and snazzy," Logan continues as he flirst with a random girl. "The iced tea/ The kamikaze," takes a shot, "The orgasm/ The death spasm/ The Singapore sling the dingaling,"

"Dingaling?" a girl shouts out

"Hey, I'm just reciting what Tom Cruise said." Logan says.

"America you've just been devoted to every flavor I've got, but if you wanted to get loaded," he raises his shot glass, "why don't you just order a shot?" takes the shot, "mmm... bar is open." Next thing anybody knew, the bar was flooded with customers. Even Rafer was totally blown away. "Dude, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen," he compliments. Max looks at Logan in bewilderment. Who the hell is this guy? I can't take this anymore, "guys, let's go," she says, "I'm feelin a little tired." 

"What?" Alec says. "The night was just gettin good."

"Let's go fellas!" Original Cindy blurted out.

Before Max exits the club, she turns back and looks at Logan whose still unaware she was there. "I'm sorry," she says to herself as she gazes at the one man she trusted the most in her entire life. My eyes began to feel watery, but I ended it there when Rafer and the others looked back at me. Stay strong, I say to myself. I'm tired of being strong, I just want to hold Logan even if it was just for a moment, but she couldn't and that completely sucked.

**Extra Disclaimer**: The poem that was recited was taken from the Tom Cruise film _"Cocktail"_ in the late 80's. It's entitled "The Last Barman Poet." I didn't want to place it at the top because it'll spoil it when you read the story. I added Logan's musical side in this fic, because 1: Michael Weatherly is a musician in real life so I incorporated that specific trait into his character Logan, and two: I figured he could earn extra cash playing music every once in a while.


	3. Chapter 3

Side Notes: I presented Logan with a persona that he might've had before he became Eyes Only ****

Side Notes: I presented Logan with a persona that he might've had before he became Eyes Only.

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Chapter 3

The Following Morning

Logan's Place

Logan's POV

"Max was there," I saw her just as she left the club last night. My feelings were in overdrive. I can't believe she was there. The thoughts that lingered my mind was _How long has she been there? Did she know I was there?_ How could she not? I literally jumped up on the counter and recited a poem. I haven't done that in years. It felt good but at the same time, hurtful because that was a part of me Max never knew about. There's so much I want to tell her share with her. 

Beep Beep Beep

I hear my computer go off. I guess I have a call. I wheel myself to the computer room and I see Sebastian on my screen. "Sebastian," I say, "what's up?" What else could I have said? I didn't ask him for any favors or vice-versa, so I'm assuming he found something for me. 

"My people spotted Lydecker in Seattle," Sebastian says. 

"I'm listening," I replied. 

"I can give you his last known address"

"Thanks Sebastian, I owe you one." I print out the address he gives me. I thought for a long hard moment, but I can't stand not seeing Max, it's as if I'm in this coma, and the longer I stay under the smaller chance I have to waking up. That feeling plagues me every where I go every single day, I can't stand it anymore. Max may be ready to let everything that we had go, but I certainly am not ready to loose her.

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20 Minutes Later

Here I am, standing in front of her door. Should I knock? She probably won't even let me in. No matter the case, I'm not one for being rude.

KnockKnock

I can hear Original Cindy yelling for me to hold up. I've always enjoyed having her company. She's different than any female I've ever known, besides Max anyway. 

She opens the door, "Logan!"

"Hey Original Cindy," Logan thinks for a moment.

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Original Cindy's POV

"Is Max here?" Logan asks, "In the shower, come in." Now I maybe homosexual but I got to admit Logan does look mighty fine this morning. "Whatcha doin here sugar?" Original Cindy's curiosity takes over. "I want to talk to Max," Logan's voice begins to soften; as if he's trying so hard to find the right words to say.

"Saw you last night," attempting terribly at a conversation. "I know," he answers. I stood there looking surprised. "It wasn't hard to miss you, Alec, Max and Rafer all together." I had no idea he noticed. I hear his voice soften even more. "I would say the same for you, the way you played those cute instruments and your poet extravaganza," I add. "Ah... you saw all that huh?" Logan face begins to get all shy. I couldn't help but smile in amusement.

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Max Enters the Room (Her POV)

"Logan!" I knew the impression I gave when I saw Logan standing in my apartment wasn't what he expected. "Hey Max," he proceeded. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "What else? To talk to you, about a lot of things." God! Why did he have to show up? Looking good and everything. I don't need this complication in my life right now, or ever. 

"Whatever happened to our 'quip pro quo?'" I ask intensely, but I quickly saw in Logan's eyes that he wasn't having it. I knew that neither one of us ever look down on the other or for anybody. "Don't you ever get tired of acting strong?" he says. "I'm not acting, it's in my genes remember," I retaliated. I don't know what else to do or say. Everything is just so complicated.

Original Cindy felt like a third wheel between us, so she excuses herself to a catch some fresh air outside as Logan and I continue our so-called conversation. 

"You shouldn't be here," wanting Logan to leave, I knew I didn't really want him to. "You're probably right, but the only way I'm leaving is if you kick my ass," he managed to see a small smile form on my face. "I didn't think so." Damnit! It wasn't supposed to be this way. It looked so simple when I cross-examined the situation in my head just seven months ago. All I had to do was go into Manticore, destroy the DNA Lab, and get out. Gettin caught wasn't part of the plan. Then again, meeting Logan was never a part of my plan to begin with.

"You know that ain't fair." I say to him.

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Logan's POV

"Nothing is ever fair Max," my thoughts go back to the day Max was shot. It's unbearable. "Just look at the predicament were in." Max realizes the point Logan is trying to make. "It's pretty screwed up."

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Author' Notes: I added several things. Thank you all for letting me know about the change of views the characters make. I corrected them so you guys could understand whom or where their thoughts are coming from. I appreciate the feedback.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Oh ****

Disclaimer: Oh... Just check the previous pages regarding the whole-disclaimer thing.

Side Note: I redid several things on **Chapter 4** so you all might want to reread that portion. Many thanks for those who clarified that I kept switching POV's so quickly, and in turn confusing a hell of a lot of you. LOL! (It wasn't intentional, so I apologize if it did.)

Chapter 4 __

Logan's POV

We stand next to each other not knowing what to say. What to do. It was as awkward as things could get between two people. At least for us. I can see that she doesn't want to talk to me, look at me or have anything to do with me, so I waited until she turns around. When she finally did face away from me, I regretfully decided to leave. I didn't say anything. I just left and she didn't even do anything to come after me. I walked away as a part of me remained back there, with Max. "Max," I say softly to myself.

Simultaneously Logan's thoughts intertwined with Max's

Max's POV
    
    
    There we were, standing no further than 5 feet from each other, neither one of us moves an inch. It was weird. How weird I couldn't even describe. I want to tell him that I want to try, but I can't. He wants to talk, but I don't. It'll just make things between us even more complicated. I stood there hoping he'll leave even though I don't want him to. I finally got the nerve to turn my face away from him. I sense he noticed the signal and I hear the sound of his soft footsteps exit the room. As he leaves, I hide my face. Sullen tears begin to form in my eyes as I regretfully hear him walk away from me. "Logan," I say to myself.
    _
    This is the end of Max and Logan's scene in her apartment.
    _****

Author's Notes: Yeah, I know I know. Chapters seem to get shorter and shorter. Don't worry, I'll finish this. I don't know when but I will. School started Sept 4th. I'm a senior in HS and I've been dumped with a lot of responsibilities. So I have less time on the computer. I occasionally do the browsing thing, but not as much us before, so majority of my work will be limited, but I promise I'll update on occasion. If I don't, e-mail me at [Nautica7mk@ilovefreddie.com][1] to remind me.

   [1]: mailto:Nautica7mk@ilovefreddie.com



	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Oh ****

Disclaimer: Oh... Just check the previous pages regarding the whole-disclaimer thing.

Chapter 5 __
    
    Logan's Place
    
    I sit here in my wheelchair, as always, recounting this morning's event with Max. I think back to the days where we'd sit opposite each other having a nice candle-lit dinner or a playful game of chess. I'm still at awe that she beat me every time. My mother taught me to play chess. She always told me that it wasn't just about strategy, it's the way you see the game, kind of like your life. We never know what will happen until it does. And when it's here, that's when the hard work begins. I never really understood her until the pulse hit.

"Bling," I call out. 

As I see him I ask him a very important question. "Yeah Man," he replies.

"I got to ask you something,"

"Shoot."

"What's your perception of me?" I ask

"What kind of question is that?"

"The one's you got to be honest with," I say. "So don't hold back." I know he's my friend, and I know he'll probably say something that's meaningful, but it won't help how I feel, so I got to know.

"Well," he begins. "You're driven that's for sure." He pauses a bit and I notice by his impression that there's something else he's trying to say. "You know what, besides the fact that your loyal to your friends, your cause, and being the guy that always 'do the right thing,'" quoting him, "your emotionally screwed up," he concludes.

"Thanks," I say in my sarcastic manner.

"No, you are man," Bling says. "You've been for a long time, probably even before we've met."

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Because..." Bling looks away from me. "You don't talk about it."

My mind shifts gears, not understanding exactly what he's trying to say. "I don't talk about it," "No, Logan you don't," he replies. "You got shot in the back and now your paralyzed," adds Bling. 

"I'm pretty much aware of that Bling,"

"Yeah, I know. But you don't talk about it. You don't talk about how much it kills you not to walk. And it hurts you to see Max doing the things she does and you not being able to equal her."

"It has never been about equaling her," trying to be as calm as I can. Bling's sudden confession took me off guard.

"You're doing it again," Bling becomes tense. "You're making excuses, why don't you for once say what your feeling, what you're thinking?"

"I can't," I say in a deep desperate tone.

"Why?"

For a brief moment, I see myself being cradled in my mothers' arms as she reads me to sleep. I miss her I miss her a lot. Then, I slowly drift back into reality. "Logan," Bling says, "Why?"

I remove my glasses and my hand brushes against my head, "I don't know," I yell out. The anger in my voice was the reaction Bling has been hoping for this past year and a half. A reaction I try not to reveal, because it's something I don't want to deal with. But it's too late, and a small part of me felt relieved. I quickly put on my glasses and wheel myself into my study.

Author's Notes: OK, I this chapter only involves Logan and his lack of openness towards anyone, even to himself. I wanted desperately to explore that part of him and the time couldn't be better.


End file.
